random...

stifled creativity in the years that have past
anxious to matter for something that lasts

fearful, inspired, passionate and numb
balance is futile yet this is all happening at once

another year, another next time
a new hand to hold
a chance to redefine the story that will be told

hearts to explore, exchange and change
just wish i knew which one to tend to

an encounter like fresh air to my soul
a message that i can and should be more of me, not just less of the old

an unequivocal connection that doesn't require talking
yet time and space seem to be mocking

unwanted change yielding opportunity and hope
inspiration, passion and purpose - all of these i hope

newness....

....when i was younger, i was pretty resistant to change. actually, i have been resistant to change my entire life. that is until recently. lately i find that i am craving "newness". a change of scenary in almost every area of my life. from my apartment, the music i listen to, places i go, people i hang out with and how i spend my time in general. don't get me wrong, i love my friends and wouldn't trade them for anything but i think there is something so exciting about the newness of a stranger. no context, no expectations, no history -just raw conversation. college was fantastic b/c you could meet someone and talk for hours about the smallest or biggest details of life. as we get older and more involved in our routines, i think we all too oftern miss those moments.

i've heard alot of my friends talk about how we're all turning 25 this year. it's weird, i'll admit it. if you had asked me two years ago where i thought i might be at 25, portland wouldn't have been in the answer. but such is life. i've been through some crazy stuff in the past few years with family and friends and while most of it was unwanted, it was so needed. so with a few more months to go at 24, and a whole lot of question marks ahead, i'm embracing being me, and what that means right now...and right now, it means spicing life up a bit.