it's better to have loved and lost...

....than to never have loved at all. yep, that's pretty accurate. but what they don't say is that loving and losing hurt. most of you reading this probably know that zach and i broke up a few weeks ago. actually, i wouldn't even call it a breakup in the traditional sense of the word. we both felt like God was trying to get our attention by telling us that the time jsut isnt right. we've both got a lot of growing up to do and while it would have been much easier (and more fun) to stay comfortable in the functional and healthy relationship we had, we both knew what God was asking for...He wanted our hearts back. it's funny how one day you can think that you're heart is ready for something and the next wake up wondering what in the heck you were thinking. our hearts can jump out in front of us and lead us with emotion and block us from seeing/hearing things. to be totally honest, i think i unintentionally put alot of pressure on zach about the future and allowed my emotions to lead the way when what i really needed was to appreciate where we were at (are at) and jut thank God for a healthy God breathed relatioship.
of course hindsight is always 20/20 but i think you catch my drift.

our relationship surprised me (and most of you) from the start. but I am 100% confident that God brouht me zach to teach me about how to love myself and love other people. he is an amzing person and, as i've told many people, i can't simply delete him. when people hear that we broke up or ask me about the dets, they expect some heart wrenching sob story, like every other breakup. you won't find that here. it hurt...it still hurts but we had such a solid friendship to lean on that we're slowly but surely finding our groove there again. so that's that. thank you all for your prayers, your listening ears and crying shoulders. zach and i are confident that we are where we're supposed to be and that's in God's hands. whatever happens next is up to Him....

as for the rest of my life, I'm working like a dog but gaining amazing expereince on a political campaign for the November elections. we're working on a statewide ballot measure which i'll dive deeper with in a later post. it's funny how God knows what we need better than we do. Hes providing me with awesome friends, great devotionals, work and other good distractions in my life the past few works. im so thankful for my friends and the weddings i've been able to be a part of the past few weeks. i love watching people close to me be happy..that's the good stuff in life.

okay well they're kicking me out of moonstruck so more to come later.

peace love