When ministry get's sticky.....

You know it's really funny, earlier this week I read a very powerful verse in 1 Timothy 2:8
" I want men (and women) everywhere to lift up holy hands in prayer, without anger or disputing". Now I interpret this as prayer and ministry. I like this verse b/c it's simple to read and understand but so hard to live out. Lately I've seen ministry get sticky. I've been involved now in one way or another with youth ministry for about six years. I've seen three high school pastors, five worship leaders cycle through at Sunset. While I know God calls different people at different times, it's been hard to see people come and go in Student Ministries...and lately there has been a wake of sticky aftermath to clean up after.

Recently I was asked to jump back in to ministry in a new position working with leaders I don't know very well. I am excited about the position b/c it's something I know God has gifted me at, however tonight at my first meeting I felt very unwelcome. I felt as if I was intruding on someone else's territory and I don't think everyone was clear on my reasons for accepting this specific position. While some comments may not have been intended for me, I felt as if they were trying to say I was not qualified to be there. After having been involved in a variety of projects within the Sunset program, this type of attitude really ticks me off. I am a team player, always have been. I thrive off of helping make other peoples ideas a reality and really thrive off of watching kids grow closer to God. I definitely do NOT thrive off of taking the place of another or "one upping" another person and I am pretty sure that God does not honor that type of service.

I know that God as called me to be involved again. I may be a political scientist but I can't stand politics, especially in the church! God calls us to honor the gifts He has given each of us for the good of His kingdom. Can we put our pride, opinions and agendas on hold for the sake of His plan? I certainly hope that is the mindset of all who are serving.....but I know from first hand experience that the politics can take us to a place where things get sticky. I'm committing myself to this position and will respond best to the needs of the leaders and students involved. I will choose to rise above the politics I've long been against and do this for God and the students.... Who's with me?!

Oh my my

My mom's mom, my Grandma Lois was diagnosed with a severe brain tumor a few months ago. She had brain surgery in August and they successfully removed the tumor and started her on a heavy radiation and chemo treatment. A few weeks ago she started to get really really weak, forgetting how to do things like cook and sew which she has done her whole life. As of two weeks ago she couldn't get out of bed, walk down stairs and was not really eating at all. Her radiation and treatment had stopped because she was not doing well and just started back up this week. During her radiation her blood pressure dropped and they sent her into the emergency room. She's been there for a few days and they've figured out some things that have been causing her body to respond poorly so hopefully she'll be able to go home tomorrow.

Anyway, the reason I tell you all this is to ask for prayer. My mom flew out there this week to be with her and my grandpa but I think my g-ma she is just getting ready to give up. I just pray that she can find comfort in God and her family and at the very least get through the treatment. It's hard to have already had one grandparent pass away a few years ago (my dads dad) so I just am not ready to let go. I am so thankful to have had four grandparents for the past 23 years but am sad that I will be the only child in my family who's sposue won't have met all my grandparents who are very important to me. I need to be strong for her and for my mom, but it's hard. So now as my therapy, i will watch Grey's anatomy with my homegirls....thank you for listening.

Taking it back to the Old School.....

'cause I'm an old fool". Duh that's from a song. I decided to post some of my favorite pics from college and the last year or so....we'll see how this goes.
The pic above was my senior class at Pi Phi....don't we all look so cute!!!

My grandma Ona and baby Nikolette We know we're dorks it's ok
Just another night with the mamas at the Hodeo

Graduation day with all the mamas, that was a great day.

Battling Boredom

Ok first of all on a random note, when I was typing in the title for this post the suggestion the computer gave me was beer pong...If I ever actually searched for information on beer pong I'm seriously disappointed in myself I mean come on I went to college!

Anyway, today I will battle boredom. I think the first plan of attack is to send as many cards to people as I have stamps for. This should take up at least an hour of the day, so be prepared....you may get a really awesomely decorated card from me soon (if you know me you should be laughing now b/c I'm not artistic at all). Second, I think I will start reading a book I read my freshmen year of college called The Persian Puzzle: The conflict between Iran and America. I was watching CNN yesterday and President Ahmadinejad of Iran was speaking at Columbia. His comments and his speech were fascinating....I want to remind myself of what the "facts" are. I love this kind of stuff. This class I took freshmen year was intense. At UofO there is a crazy teacher named Ken and he is known for his timely and controversial courses. If you don't register for his class at the exact minute you are scheduled to, you'll never get in. This class started out as US Foreign Policy but then the war heated up and it basically became a course of US/Middle East relations. So that term I read 10 novel size books on the region. I knew so much about the conflict and the history of the Middle and Near East, I wish I could remember that all now!
Third I think I'll have a hot choc from Starbucks with a college friend. Then I'll probably go to Fusion and work out with Zmiller.

What do you to combat boredom and do you have any job suggestions for me???

Random Thoughts

well, after talking to Kurt last night, he said my blog needed a little more "umph" to it so here it goes with my first edition of random thoughts:

1. I'm pretty bored of looking for a job and hate trying to defend/explain my work history since college
2. I worry about money-don't have much of that left after my DC excursion!
3. I talk to my dog all day
4. Lately I've really been wanting to start dancing again. Most people don't know that I danced for 9 years and loved it. I had to choose between sports or joining a performing dance company and I chose sports....that ended up with two knee surgeries.
5. My boyfriend is one of the most patient people in the world....can't believe he's stuck around for 9 months.
6. I wish my friends today could see who I was before college
7. I REALLY want to travel
8. My room smells like stale graham crackers, dirty socks and dog pee....any suggestions???
9. I'm in a funky place right now trying to figure out which direction to take, where to serve in ministry next and how to not let myself disappear
10. I'm on week 2 of shape up September! Hopefully I can keep to it this week as I did last week and get back to a leaner Kristen.
11. I absolutely love the weather change from summer to fall.

more to come later....

Foggy

That's about as accurate as I can explain my thoughts right now. I had an interview last week with a company I really wanted to be a part of but found out today that they "were pursuing other candidates". I'm just bummed. I have been out of college for over a year and a half and have yet to find my start. I've had some great jobs but they've all been average jobs, which had no room for growth. I'm so frustrated. I wasn't accepted to grad school where I really really wanted to go, then DC didn't work out, and now I am just sitting back where I started this time last year. I know I'm capable to do just about any job. And this experience has been really humbling, but I just want to land a job and stay there for a while. I would love to get into marketing or human resources, but they are both really hard areas to just jump into without any education or real experience. And of course my experience is pretty unconventional. I'm seriously considering going to get my masters in teaching b/c that's something I have always wanted to do- I just pictured myself doing it later in life. It's crazy how the plans we make for ourselves can be a world away from God's plan in our lives.
I guess this is God's way of humbling me and making me focus on the fact that success is not measured by what we get but by what we give.

Enough venting....time to refocus and get on with life:-)

A Great Day in the Neighborhood

So this is my very first post on my blog! I'm excited to have finally started this, I've thought about it for a long time. I have so much to write about already. As many of you might know, I was supposed to be be in DC right now. My dance with DC has been a long one. It all started my sophomore year of high school. I went there on a trip with other kids from around the country for a week of up close and personal politics. I really got interested in foreign policy and IR after that and when 9/11 rolled around I did a special senior project on terrorism which I presented to the freshmen social studies classes. So then I got to college, declared my Poli Sci major and went on my way. Well then my junior year rolled around and I decided that going abroad wasn't very beneficial for me in terms of academics, but I could do a semester at American University in DC. So my good friend Jessie and I went there for 5 months and loved it. I met some awesome people and got to experience foreign policy happening every single day. As I got to towards the end of my senior year I realized I wanted to apply for jobs and grad school in DC. I did both and was unsuccessful at both. That was a really hard time in my life. I wanted to badly to go to grad school and when I got the "thanks but no thanks" letters in March, I was crushed. I honestly felt like I had nowhere else to go, nothing else to do or offer anyone. Everyone had advice for me and while I appreciated how interested and concerned people were, I couldn't help but just become numb whenever anyone started talking about it. Just when I thought I had moved on, God put DC on my heart one more time. After spending two weeks there in June blitzing the district with info interviews I felt God was calling me to face all my fears, pack it all up and move out there. I felt He was asking me to trust Him to provide. So as I left on Sept 1th no job or place to live, I still felt confident that I was following Him. After getting there I spent time in prayer and in the Word and felt He was calling me back to Portland. It wasn't that I missed my friends, family or amazing boyfriend it was more of a question of Kristen what are you doing here? I prayed alot about it and after listening to an awesome sermon from a pastor I realized that sometimes God brings us to the wrong places in life so we can figure out the right place to be. So I came home. And the best part is that I don't regret any part of it. I faced so many fears and insecurities by trusting Him to provide a place to live, a job, to be my satisfaction away from friends and family. So now as I move toward the next thing in my life (who knows what that is) I am trusting Him more than ever to put me in the right place. I am so thankful for that learning experience and can't wait for what's next. Ok well that's plenty for now....more later